Where IS Best Buddy when you need him most??As most of you know, the Liverpool contingent of the club got up early and drove down to Stoney on Thursday morning. Trig was the proud owner of a brand new sat nav system, not quite a Christmas present but fresh out of the box. He was so proud of it. The fact that it tried to take us off the M62 and into Warrington almost as soon as we got on the motorway wasn’t a problem; teething trouble at best but she will learn; the “she” being the charmingly seductive voice coming from deep within the machine. The rest of the journey was uneventful. The fact that she took us off the M1 two junctions early didn’t worry us either, she obviously knows the “rat runs” or the scenic routes, and anyway, it was a leisurely and enjoyable drive. Getting there too late to get on the bottom car park was a pain but it could have happened anyway and can’t really blame her.
After an eventful days’ diving, (more eventful for some than others), Trig skipped lunch to load the car up and off we set; aforementioned sat nav being set to “home”. It took a little while to find a convenient satellite but no worry; we were soon following her directions home with the prospect of a raring log fire and dinner on the table when we got there.
The hours passed slowly. As we were admiring Litchfield Cathedral in the twilight, vet and Bandit phoned. Not to gloat but I’m sure it crossed their mind as they were very nearly home with their loved ones. We still had Stafford, Stone, Newcastle (not the “Upon Tyne” one thankfully) and various other Pottery towns to get through. We started to have our doubts. In our hour of need, where was Best Buddy to direct us out of our purgatory and onto the nearest motorway?
You guessed right, nowhere! Still, we did notice that she was warning us of approaching speed cameras, a useful facility I’m sure you will agree dear reader and boy did Trig get his money’s worth on that score! If he set off every one we passed through not even the best lawyer in the club could have done anything to save him.
By this time we had out suspicions. Were we locked into the same satellite that the Americans use to target their missiles and bombs? We were certain by now that we would end up at an Iraqi wedding reception somewhere.
Finally, having noticed we were only two miles off the M6 and she was once again directing us away, we bit the bullet, showed her who is boss and went for it, much, no doubt, to her consternation! Must have been like “HAL” in 2001 going into killer mode. I grabbed hold of her to try and disable her. After a life or death struggle, foe aforesaid sat nav at last, I finally cracked it. Trig, bless him, had not changed the default settings which were of course set to “avoid motorways on pain of death” With the new setting duly installed, a little late, we finally managed to limp home for a late supper, with a cheery greeting to the milkman just setting off on his round.
There are clearly lessons to be learnt:
Why ignore years of perceived wisdom and experience by listening to a WOMAN give directions?
Never let Trig play with a new toy before checking it yourself
Best Buddy will let you down when you need him most.
